037 who are we outside of work?

A common theme I’ve noticed in therapy sessions is the quiet tension between productivity and self-worth. So many of us have internalized the belief that our value is measured by how much we accomplish, how busy we are, or how impressive our job title sounds. But when our identities become so tightly woven with our careers, it begs the question: who are we without our work?

I hear it often: “Why spend time on hobbies if they don’t make me money?” We’ve been conditioned to see rest, play, and curiosity as indulgent or wasteful. But the truth is, what we do outside of work shapes us just as much, if not more, than what we do in it.

Learning, in any form, is an act of self-investment. It’s not always financial; sometimes it’s emotional or creative. Reading a book that has nothing to do with your career, taking an online course just because it fascinates you, or learning how to paint can expand your mind and soften your inner world. These practices remind us that personal growth doesn’t clock out when we do.

Let’s unlearn the idea that hobbies are just for leisure. They are one of the most honest expressions of who we are when no one is watching. Whether you’re dancing around your home, writing in your journal, or tending to your plants, these moments give you permission to be imperfect, spontaneous, and free. They allow you to exist outside of roles, expectations, and external validation.

From a mental health perspective, hobbies and lifelong learning are powerful forms of care. Research shows they reduce stress, boost mood, and build resilience. But beyond the science, they remind us to slow down and create not for performance but for pleasure. They teach us to sit with curiosity instead of comparison.

Hobbies also help us define our identities beyond our careers. They reconnect us to our childhood sense of wonder, the version of ourselves who did things simply because they felt good. In a world that constantly asks, “What do you do?” it’s revolutionary to respond with “Who I am when I’m not working.”

What we do outside of our work hours isn’t “extra.” It’s essential. These are the moments that make life feel expansive: reading late into the night, learning something new, getting lost in your creativity. They’re what make us fuller, softer, and more human.

So maybe the question isn’t just “Who are we without our jobs?” but “Who do we get to become when we stop measuring ourselves by them?”