031 do not go with the flow, be the flow
Today, I want to gently challenge the “go with the flow” mentality. In a world that often encourages passivity and detachment, we are taught that going with the flow is the path to peace. We are encouraged to let go of control, to surrender to the current, and to trust the process. But what if going with the flow is not the key to deeper fulfillment? What if, instead, we are meant to be the flow itself?
I first encountered the concept “don’t go with the flow, be the flow” in The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. The way I interpret it, being the flow means taking an active role in shaping the course of our lives. It is not about passively allowing events to unfold without our engagement. It is about becoming an intentional, present participant in our own experience. When we choose to be the flow, we move through life with clarity and direction rather than disconnection.
In the book, Shams of Tabriz, the spiritual companion and teacher to Rumi, says, “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you.” At first glance, this might sound like an invitation to accept whatever life brings without further speculation. But if we look more closely, we find that it is not about surrendering our agency. Rather, it is about aligning with life in a way that is both receptive and rooted. It invites us to cultivate a deep awareness of the present moment while remaining grounded in our autonomy.
To be the flow is to engage fully with the present, to make deliberate choices, and to embrace the complexities of our experiences. It is about stepping into our personal power by becoming the authors of our stories rather than allowing external circumstances to dictate our paths. This requires not only self-awareness, but also the willingness to take accountability for our decisions, our boundaries, and our values.
Being the flow is also a practice of mindfulness. It involves attending to our inner lives with enough care and clarity that we no longer find ourselves drifting. When we are the flow, we are not waiting passively for life to happen. We are creating the life we want to live. We are not simply hoping for opportunities to appear; we are cultivating them through our actions, intentions, and choices.
To be the flow is ultimately to live authentically. It means making conscious decisions to align with our deeper selves. It is the embodiment of presence, purpose, and integrity in everyday life. It is a recognition that we are not solely shaped by our environment but can shape it in return. In a world that often encourages resignation, we can pause and ask ourselves: Am I actively participating in my life, or am I allowing myself to be carried by the current?
This is the essence of becoming the flow. It is the realization that we are not merely at the mercy of external tides. We hold the capacity to be our own gravitational pull. We can move through life not by resisting change, but by engaging with it intentionally, from a place of inner alignment and clarity.
