027 reclaiming authenticity
In this modern world, we are constantly being influenced to “level up” and “be the best version of ourselves.” But sometimes, even as a therapist, I have to pause and reevaluate this external messaging. What if the only thing holding us back is the version of ourselves we believe we should be?
There is a quiet but persistent narrative that runs through our culture, woven into self-help books and social media posts from self-proclaimed experts in dating, dieting, and career growth. The message remains clear: who we are in this moment is not quite enough. The drive to constantly improve may appear rooted in joy, but more often it is born from self-rejection. We are encouraged to fix, edit, and mold ourselves according to ideals shaped more by societal pressure than personal truth.
But what would it mean to meet ourselves where we are, without the added pressure to change? To choose curiosity over critique? To move through growth not from urgency or fear, but from a deeper understanding of our own needs?
This is not an invitation to stay stuck or to excuse behaviors that cause harm. What I am inviting is a shift in narrative. One that allows for both self-acceptance and meaningful change. Growth is not incompatible with self-compassion. In fact, the most enduring transformation often begins with the radical act of saying, “I am allowed to be who I am, even as I evolve.”
In therapeutic spaces, we learn that healing is rarely about becoming someone completely different. More often, it is about returning to our most authentic self. To the parts of us that have been silenced, hidden, or fragmented by a culture that tells us we are not enough as we are.
We begin to see that growth is not about striving endlessly toward an ideal, but about integrating all parts of ourselves. The self we are seeking might not be some distant, perfected version. It might be the version that already exists. The one we have yet to fully embrace.
What if we stopped chasing an ideal and began practicing presence, allowing ourselves to simply be in this moment, in all its rawness?
What if being the “best version” of ourselves had less to do with constant improvement and more to do with learning to live with integrity, compassion, and awareness?
Perhaps we are not meant to endlessly evolve in order to earn our worth.
Perhaps we are meant to come home to ourselves and choose ourselves again and again, with tenderness and intention.
